Soooooo, Europe, anyone?

I got some stupendous news this weekend! (Well, actually on Friday.) I have an opportunity to go to Prague for four weeks this summer with three friends from one of my classes and six other American students. We're going to be studying poetry/screenwriting at Charles University, the third oldest university in Europe, for four weeks! We'll also have time to see operas and ballets, as well as visit historical sites like Auschwitz and, of course, use our free time to gallavant around Europe and do some coffee house workshops.

I am SO STOKED for this trip! On top of being able to see Europe with some friends, I will be able to put this University time on my transcript, which will give me a leg-up when I apply to grad schools in less than a year.

My boyfriend is really supportive of me going. It means, of course, that we will be spending time apart, and it might turn out that his two weeks of training (for the Marines) lines up with my Prague trip and we might not see each other for six weeks. Of course this is a little bit of a downer, but we talked about what a grand opportunity this is for me and how much I will learn and get to experience, and that weighs so much more than the sadness of not seeing each other for some time.

This means now that I need to really amp up my Mary Kay business so I can have some extra money for daily expenses in Europe, and so that I can hopefully start to fill the hole that this trip will leave in my bank account. I have about a month or so before the money is due, and I've already got some facials lined up for the next two weeks. The most important thing for me to do now is to be giving my business cards away and starting dialogues about Mary Kay with every woman I meet to see if she's interested in a free facial or buying some products--and at the very least she will have my information and can hand it off to friends, or buy stuff in a few months.

I am soooo excited that sometimes I need to dance around because the anticipation is making me jittery and high and I need to let it loose. I also feel a bit scared, mostly because of the whole going-to-Europe-costs-money thing... But I'm using those emotions to motivate me to really work at getting myself to a good and more stable place before I leave. Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Learning lots

(and really joyous!)

Monica

Living with Purpose

So as I mentioned in an earlier blog, my boyfriend and I signed a lease together for next year--August to August. We are very excited about the place because it is clean, newly renovated, we're allowed to have pets (and the pet deposit is refundable!), it's far from campus but not too far from town, utilities are included, and the lady who runs the complex is so nice! The current tenant in the apartment we rented has lived there for 22 years, and when he was told that he was going to get all new appliances, flooring, painting and the works, he decided to move out instead! Crazy man... but that means my boyfriend and I get all new appliances and brand new carpet for no extra charge. Also my good friend signed a lease there a few weeks prior, and since she referred us, she gets $200 off her first month's rent. So if anyone is looking for a place to stay around here, talk to me so we can get referral benefits and you can live in a beautiful place!

My typing adventure is going well. You might recall that I am trying out a new method of typing that could potentially make me a faster and more efficient typist. If I'm not conscious about typing with all my fingers, I still lapse back to my old hunt-and-peck method, but I'm already becoming faster at typing with all my fingers. What's really interesting is that when I am conscious of the way I'm typing, I'm also more conscious about whether or not I'm slouching, which is a habit of mine that I've also been working on changing.

I'm becoming more proactive about being a Mary Kay beauty consultant. I was rocking out the facials over Spring break, but since getting back to school I have been focusing less on my job and more on school work and my friends--which is not bad, I just need to find a balance so I make money while still nurturing the other parts of my life. I'm working on not dividing my life up, so that I'm always conscious of being a MK consultant, instead of turning it on when I turn my school work off--I want to be a complete person, not a person with a fragmented life, just like I am still a writer when I'm with my non-writer friends, and I'm still a pupil of the Wright Leadership Institute when I'm here in Ohio.

Learning lots,
Monica

Amygdala Hijacking (oh noooo!)

I am a relatively busy person--and like many busy people, I keep post-its on my desk and a wall calendar next to my desk to help me remember the things I need to do. It always seems like a good idea to write things on post-its. If I'm on the phone and need to remember a phone number, name, and date, then it's much faster to reach for a post-it than scramble through my book bag for my homework planner that I don't look at very often anyway. For the big important things--like a meeting or a deadline--I make sure to write them down a few times, like on a post-it, my calendar, my homework planner, and sometimes my hand. And still I manage to forget a lot of important things. Why is this??

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my fear of taking responsibility for my life, being fully present, awake, and engaged, and of being seen and heard. On the one hand, I often want to be seen and heard, but on the other, the more I am seen the more opportunities I have to make a mistake that someone will notice. My unconscious mind tries to convince me that if I hide in the "background" and don't step up to actively paricipate in things I'm asked or have committed to do, then no one will notice and I can slip away "safely."

What my conscious mind is slowly realizing is that people notice me when I'm not there. I am seen and heard even when I'm not around to be seen and heard--what I mean is, my lack of presence still has an impact on others, especially those who I have broken a commitment to.

My lack of presence also has an impact on me, no matter how much my unconscious mind tries to tell me that I'm not missing out on anything if I don't show up to the meeting I said I would or to the class I signed up for.

So how can I fight my unconscious mind when I'm already doing "so much" to thwart it (see: post-its and hand notes)? I need to work with it. What's driving my unconscious mind if often fear--of rejection, of failure, of not being recognized, of not mattering, etc. I don't need to fight these fears or pretend they don't exist, because that will just make them pop up and paralyze me when I'm not expecting it. Pretending I don't have feelings doesn't change the fact that they're there. What I need to do is acknowledge the fear (or anger, hurt... whatever it is that is holding me back) and get control of my mind back. Instead of being mentally hijacked by fear, I can name the feeling and decide to go to that meeting anyway. Without acknowledging the emotion, I can't take back my mind and I will continue to operate unconsciously, but if I acknowledge the fear, I will be able to use thaat energy to propel me instead of drag me down.

It's a journey and a constant effort, but getting my conscious mind back from my unconscious for moments here and there is like catching the first small waves in an ocean of opportunities.

Learning lots,
Monica

Responsibility

I had a great day yesterday! In the morning, my boyfriend and I made breakfast, then saw an apartment, went grocery shopping with his mom, went out to lunch, test-drove a car (that I am definitely not going to buy), saw another potential place to live next year, walked around the mall, then made a delicious dinner of steak, mashed potatoes and corn muffins, and ate ice cream while watching Indepencence Day, which I have never seen all the way through before.

One of the best parts of yesterday was the way my boyfriend and I talked about what we were really looking for in a place to live--and it turns out that we have very different desires. The most important factors (for me) in finding a place to live are that I am close to friends, within walking distance of downtown, and near people. My boyfriend prefers living in a more remote area and it doesn't matter to him how close we live to downtown. His opinion was really frustrating me because I didn't get why he didn't understand why these things were so important to me. Finally, I realized that he didn't understand because I hadn't really told him!

We talked through why I wanted to be near town--because I currently don't have a car and if I can't walk to town, I am essentially stuck in the house/apartment all day, and my job options are limited--why I want to be near people and why I want to be near my friends. Once I told him why I wanted what I wanted, he talked about what he wanted, and we were able to agree on which apartment was the best option for us. I'm proud because I got myself out of the drama (of being a victim to why he didn't understand what I wanted) and moved to a responsible space. I decided on the things I was not willing to compromise on and the things I was willing to let go of, and when I took the lead into responsibility, he followed.

The biggest win is that I wasn't alone in the conversation--my fear of "being the responsible one" is that I will be the only one, but when I chose responsibility over drama and victimhood, my boyfriend followed. I didn't feel like I had to carry the relationship and not lose my head--by having him on the same team, we got onto the same side.

Learning lots,
Monica

Risks, Changes, Productivity, and my Gift

When I was at the MORE Life Training in Chicago this weekend, I had the opportunity to do a lot of typing--more specifically, transcribing a large portion of the training. I am a fast typer and over the past year or so, I have begun to embrace that talent. I've gone from having to look at the keyboard when I type, to being able to go for long periods of time wihout looking down (woo!!!). I've even gotten faster--about a year ago when I first began to assist at the usually bi-monthly trainings, I typed at about 70WMP, and this weekend I was up to 80!

I had a lot of fun this weekend and got affirmed quite a bit for being so fast, being so willing to transcribe often, and for my strange method of typing. Historically I have been a hunt-and-peck typist. (That means that instead of resting my fingers on the home keys (asdf jkl;), my fingers hover over the keyboard, and I only use one finger (and sometimes my thumb) on my left hand.) Although I took computer class in middle school every year, I always preferred this method over the way I was taught. I find the hunt-and-peck method easier because I have disproportionately long fingers, and in order for my pinky and pointer fingers to hit the proper home keys, my middle fingers have to be bent at a 90 degree angle and my wrists bent a little sideways--it is very easy for my fingers to lose their home position. I just figured out this problem last night when I started teaching myself again how to type with all the fingers on both my hands.

You may be wondering--why learn another way to type when my method is already so fast and it seems to be working well enough? Well, I had a great conversation with a friend over the weekend who asked me something like, "What other areas of your life do you live typing without all your fingers?" In other words, where else do I settle for good enough and not push myself to use all the resources available to utlize my talents to the fullest and be the greatest gift to the world that I can be? Where do I stop at "good" and not go for "great"? Where do I accept mediocrity when I have the capability to make things better? Where do I hide in safeness instead of making changes? Where do I give up in the face of a challenge? (He may not have meant every bit of this, but that's what it meant to me.)

So, I have started to relearn another way to type to see if it will make me a better typist. It may not, but I will never know unless I try. I am taking this idea into the rest of my life and becoming conscious of the times when I only type with one finger and I could be using all ten.

Learning Lots,
Monica

Hello, eleven days later

Well, I'm back. I have been deliciously busy the past few weeks. I went to my parent's house for Spring Break and did a lot of facials and got new customers. Then when I got back to school, I had even more stuff to do! This past weekend I went to the MORE Life Training in Chicago with the Wright Leadership Institute--I have been having such a full life!

I love assisting at the MORE Life weekends because it is a great opportunity for me to learn and grow and have adventures and make mistakes, but also because I really believe in what the Institiute offers and I want to help other people make use of the opportunity to join our community. I went through a lot of personal growth work, did a ton of typing, and had a very exciting rollercoaster weekend--high highs, big mistakes, and low lows. I felt more things than I have at any other weekend, and I have solidified my decision to do whatever I have to do to join Lab (an advanced program at the Instititue). I got to hear and express some deep truths, tell people my heart's desires for them, play during lunch, and stay up late with people who want so much out of life. I feel so much joy, and some sadness that the weekend is over.

My vision for myself is that I bring energy, truth, adventure, and risk-taking to my community here in Bowling Green and push myself to engage fully with others so my life here is fulfilling, adventurous, and intimate.

I heard many new ideas on how to work my business, how to push myself to greatness (instead of good-enough-ness), and how to make my relationships with others more meaningful and adventurous.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to have worked with Bob and Judith Wright, all my fellow assistants, and all the participants this weekend. I recommend this experience to anyone who wants more out of life, wants to learn to love themselves more fully, and to create deeper and more meaningful connections with the people around them. If you're interested in attending this free weekend training in June, contact me and I will be thrilled and honored to have you come play with us!

Learning lots,
Monica

Business Smarts

I've been cranking out the facials/makeovers this break! So far I've done six faces, I have another scheduled for tomorrow, three as of yet unscheduled, and one on Sunday! Go me!

I brought some extra MK products to my parents' house because I wanted to have some stuff on-hand when I (thought I) was going to do lots of facials during the day at the school my mom works at. Due to various circumstances, the possibility of hanging in the teacher's lounge and giving quickie facials to busy teachers has been postponed for a little while. So now I have two bags of extra products that I've been afraid to take to the one- or two-person facials because that means that (as samples) I couldn't sell them.

So I've been thinking since last night, are the benefits of sampling nearly $50 of products (and so not being able to sell them) outweighed by the benefits of having customers try them, realize they love them, and potentially buy them? Logically, I know the answer is yes. When I went to my most recent facial/makeover (before I became a consultant), I was unmoved by the idea of eyesicles or the satin lips set--that is, until I tried them at that party. Right then, even though I had no money to buy them, I knew I wanted them. I even went so far as to search through all my purses, pants pockets, and jackets searching for spare change or singles. Though my efforts were fruitless at the time to wrangle enough money to buy the products, it was a good lesson for me now--sampling products is key for getting customers to buy them. People won't know how good their lips can feel with satin lips unless they try it, or how bright and fun their eyes can look with eyesicles until they put it on their lids.

So, to get myself to take some more business-friendly risks, I took the satin lips set out of the packaging and used it on my lips so that I could never in good conscience sell them to someone else--so I would have to use them for facials. I did the same with eyesicles and a 5-in-1 perfume/lipglosss sampler. Now, armed with more wonderful products that I believe in and that I know make me feel good, I'm on my way to helping other women feel great about themselves, too!

Learning lots,
Monica